Playing Chess with Mrs Weasley
by Mizaya
Summary: One boring summer day at The Burrow, Ron convinces his mum to play chess with him. All goes well until Mrs. Weasley starts offering motherly advice about Hermione. R x Hr silly oneshot.


**Playing Chess with Mrs. Weasley**

By: Mizaya

The summer holidays usually started out as rather boring and tedious for Ron. Neither Harry nor Hermione ever arrived until weeks into the break (whether expectedly or not) and his mum always gave him an endless supply of chores to tide him over.

This summer was even worse than the previous ones, however. Molly and Arthur Weasley were constantly off on Order business, leaving him at home with his sister and a garden for degnoming and nothing else. They would be staying at the Burrow mostly, according to his dad, since Sirius's death and the disappearance of Kreacher made Grimmauld Place a less secure headquarters. If it was attacked, his dad had explained rationally, the children would be much safer at home. Ron had protested that Dumbledore was Secret-Keeper for the Order and that he wasn't a child, but it had fallen on deaf ears.

It would have been more tolerable if Ginny would play chess or gobstones with him on occasion, but she was always occupied with writing to Dean and her other friends, leaving him to his own devices. He owled Harry so often that Harry finally wrote him a short note that said "Find something to do and quit bothering me about stupid gnomes. And Hedwig hates Pig." Ron knew that Harry was still upset about everything he had gone through, but he didn't have to be so snappy. And he couldn't even owl Hermione to complain because she was on holiday with her parents in France again. It scared him to think he was beginning to miss Fred and George. That was true desperation. At least he wasn't missing Percy yet.

When his mum called him downstairs one obscenely hot morning, he was almost excited. He knew instinctively that all she wanted was for him to do some awful chore, so the excitement was a scary feeling, but exciting nonetheless. Anything but another day of staring at the Cannons poster above his bed, wishing he could do magic outside of Hogwarts so at least he could get the room cool enough for a nap.

"Yeah, Mum?" he asked, biting into an apple he'd snatched from the dining room table on the way to the kitchen. "What d'you want?"

Mrs. Weasley was cracking eggs into a pan with her wand. "I'm going to be staying at home today, dear."

"Can we play chess?" Ron blurted out, trying not to smile. He'd never been so happy to hear that his slave-driver of a mother would be home. He'd do any ghastly chore for some decent company and a game, even if it was with his mum. Actually, the rare times he had played chess with her she had proven to be quite good.

"Yes, yes, we can play chess if you finish your chores. There's a lot to be done around here. I don't clean for one week and the whole house disintegrates around me!"

Ron looked around and frowned. He didn't notice anything different from the way the house usually appeared. His mum's eye for disorder was in his opinion overzealous.

"I've already asked your sister to clean the kitchen and beat out the rugs-"

"'Bout time she did something around here," he said through a mouthful of apple. Ginny always got off easy.

"-and you will be mopping the floors and cleaning the bathroom," she finished with a glare.

"Ugh. Fine."

And thus Ron found himself on his knees two hours later, scrubbing the bathtub clean. Well, scrubbing the bathtub from old and dingy to still-old-but-not-quite-so-dingy. As a kid he hadn't questioned it much, but after seeing how easily things could be done with a wand, he now often wondered why his mum didn't just charm everything clean. He supposed she would give him some excuse about diligence and responsibility if he asked, so he didn't. It was oddly satisfying, though, to do a task manually. But he wasn't ever going to tell her that! An image of her smiling fanatically and giving him a lifetime of chores caused an involuntary shudder.

He sat back on his heels and let out a "Ha!" knowing that he'd finished in record time and she had no reason to not play chess with him for the rest of the day.

"Mum! I'm done!" he called. He smiled when she climbed the stairs and inspected the painfully clean bathroom. "I'm right knackered, too. What's for lunch?"

* * *

After a satisfying meal of ham sandwiches, milk, and celery sticks, during which Ron harassed Mrs. Weasley incessantly about her promise to play chess with him, he ran up to his room and collected his board and pieces. Several of the pieces banged on the inside of the box to be let out, and when he finally opened it in the living room and allowed them to assume their positions, the black bishops made their irritation at having been neglected known. 

"Not very appropriate for men of God," he said sarcastically as his mum took her seat across from him, reading glasses perched on the end of her nose to help her study the board.

"Oh, my! None of that, gentleman! I will not have anyone, even chess pieces, using those sorts of gestures in my house!" She glared at them until they turned around and stuck their ebony hands back in their pockets. "That's better."

Ron tried his best not to roll his eyes. "It's your turn, Mum, white goes first."

"Yes, yes, let's see here...you move up. There's a good lad."

The first game went rather quickly and silently, aside from calling out directions. Ron gloated about the way he had trounced his mother, blindsiding her with his knight in short order. She claimed that she was warming up and that was a practice game, and that she would teach him a thing or two before the day was over. His mum didn't get competitive very often, but when she did she was ruthless and Ron was beaming at the prospect of a worthy opponent.

After six more games, though, all of which he won, he started heckling her and suggesting she was all talk. True, she had played much better since the first match, but he was still able to predict her moves and conquer her king in the end.

"This will have to be the last game, Ron," she announced at five o'clock. "Your father will be home soon and I need to prepare dinner at some point."

Ron was rather disappointed at how fast the day had gone by, but he wasn't about to lose his winning spirit. "You'd better up your playing, then."

"Oh I plan on it," she said with a fierce glare before offhandedly adding, "So when is Hermione back from France?"

"Monday I think."

"Well I suppose she'll want us to pick her up as soon as possible. Always wanting to be in the know, that girl. Are you sure it's all right with you if she's here a week before Harry arrives? Dumbledore doesn't want us removing him from the Dursleys' house until his birthday."

Ron tried to tell himself the question was perfectly innocent as he stared at the board. His mum had no idea. Although Harry was his best mate and all, a week with Hermione meant a lot of time alone with Hermione. A very pretty and smart and wonderful Hermione that he fancied quite a bit, he had finally admitted to himself the year prior. He hadn't told her about his revelation, of course, but he would. Someday. Or maybe not, depending on if she showed any interest and he grew a whole lot more Gryffindor courage. It wasn't like he was guaranteed she wouldn't disown him as a friend, laugh in his face, get violently ill at the thought, or all of the above.

Back to the point, though, he had no idea why his mum would ask him something like that. Hermione had shown up at the Burrow before Harry a couple times in the past, so nothing unusual there. He pondered this summer being different somehow in his mother's eyes, to justify the need for his approval, but he was drawing a complete blank.

"Um, sure. That's fine with me, I guess. Why do you ask?" He frowned. The move he had just made with a nudge of his finger, putting his pawn right in the path of hers, wasn't very bright.

Just as he predicted, her pawn knocked his onto the floor and arrogantly marched into the vacant spot. "Oh no real reason, dear. I just thought there was some oddness between you lately."

Oddness? Had he made himself totally obvious? No, then he would have heard about it from the twins every time he saw them. Maybe Hermione had shown open disgust for him. That thought made him grimace.

"Well we did just get attacked by Death Eaters. I think anyone would be acting oddly after that."

"Of course, dear, but that's not what I meant. I noticed at King's Cross that the two of you barely spoke. Did you have a falling out?"

"Not that I'm aware of." Had he done something to upset her? She hadn't thought much of his reaction on the train to Ginny's love life, but that wasn't anything major. She didn't really think much of a lot of his behavior and they had managed to stay friends for five years despite it. Another of his pawns went flying and he mentally kicked himself for the shoddy move.

"Well I suppose it's just the crush then."

"_What?_" Ron said before he had a chance to think. His mum knew he fancied Hermione! And she was sitting there discussing it with him as if they weren't in the middle of a chess game and his face wasn't suddenly disgustingly red. "Hermione doesn't... That is I don't... We aren't... _What_ are you talking about?"

Mrs. Weasley calmly ordered her rook to destroy one of his crude bishops before explaining. "Well, it's quite obvious you're taken with her. Your father and I have seen that for years. I thought maybe you had made your feelings known to her and it made things awkward for you, but I gather that's not the case?"

Ron shook his head numbly. He was totally dumbstruck. His mum was just deciding to let him in on this? Why did she have to at all? This was the most humiliating thing he could ever imagine going through, aside from telling Hermione herself. If his mother started giving him advice he was going to die. The hotness in his face was already beginning to make him think he might spontaneously ignite, so death wasn't out of the question.

"I know you're almost a man, Ronald, but I think you still have a lot to learn in the love department."

He touched his left ear surreptitiously to make sure there were no flames yet, then groaned at the chess board as he realized that in order to prevent himself from getting checked he would have to sacrifice his remaining rook.

"Your father was rather shy, as well. It took him two years to tell me that he fancied me! I remember the day he asked me to Hogsmeade. He could barely look me in the eye. If he had only known how much I fancied him in return he would have had the courage, I'll bet. It took him three more weeks to muster up the nerve to kiss me."

As his mum stared off dreamily, consumed in memories, he glumly took one of her pawns. Not only was his mum embarrassing him by talking about Hermione, now she was bringing up completely revolting thoughts of his parents dating.

"You and Hermione haven't kissed, have you?"

He stared at her, wide-eyed, unable to speak. She chucked and he began seething in anger.

"Well I didn't expect you had, but if you do remember to be a gentleman," she said warningly. "Don't rush into it and offend her or make her question your interest by waiting too long. And don't go gloating to your friends about it afterwards, because girls get their feelings hurt by those things."

Ron recklessly captured a white knight with his queen, not caring that he left her defenseless. "I wouldn't do that! I'm not a total prat!" he growled.

"Now, now, don't get upset, darling. I don't think you would do that, we raised you better."

The queen shook her fist at him before she was flung out of the game. Ron just stared at the board in glum contemplation, not paying attention to his moves. He couldn't believe his mum thought he would just kiss Hermione and run off to brag. Maybe if it was some random girl he would tell Harry the gory details, but he could never do that to Hermione. If he ever got the chance to date her he would treat her as best he could, and respect her wishes for their privacy.

"Besides, maybe you should set your sights on someone...else. For the time being at least."

Stunned, he raised his head quickly to meet his mum's eyes. Any lasting remnants of embarrassment were gone. "What's wrong with Hermione?"

Mrs. Weasley's hands came up to placate him. "Nothing, of course. I love Hermione as if she were my own daughter. She's the brightest young witch I've ever met and I'm sure she'll impress us all in the future."

"Then there's something wrong with me?" he demanded furiously. Sure, he had fretted endlessly about that exact thing for two years, but it wasn't very comforting coming from his own mum!

"No, dear, that isn't what I meant at all," she said calmingly. "What I meant is that, well, Hermione has quite a bit more experience in the romance area than you do, and maybe you should find someone more demure, at least until you're comfortable with dating."

All color drained from Ron's face in a flash, leaving him sickly pale. Just how much experience was "quite a bit" and how did his mother know anything like that about Hermione? Had he been blind to some torrid affair that she had confessed about to everyone else? Was everyone keeping him out of the loop to spare his feelings?

"Ron?" His mother seemed concerned over his pastiness.

"What experience?" he asked quietly.

"She just seems to know her way around, is all. I know you children told me that article in _Witch Weekly_ was untrue, but something about it never sat right with me. If she would date Harry and leave him on a whim, I'd rather you just remained on a friendly basis with her and not have your heart broken. Scarlet women don't seem to care about the men they hurt." Mrs. Weasley punctuated her statement by ordering her queen to "pummel" his other bishop.

Ron groaned. "Look, Mum, Rita Skeeter made all that up. Hermione never went out with Harry, it was all to make him look bad. I can't believe you would think she's a scarlet woman!" The hypocrisy of that statement was not lost on him.

"Maybe she didn't date Harry but she certainly toyed with that poor Krum boy. Ginny told me he did really invite her to Bulgaria."

A boiling jealousy surged up in him and he found himself yelling. "That grouchy git doesn't deserve Hermione! I can't believe you think she should have gone to Bulgaria! I don't care if he is the best Seeker around!"

He blindly moved a pawn then sat back stiffly in his chair and crossed his arms. No longer did he show his jealousy of Krum to Hermione (much), but that didn't mean he was going to gloss over it in his own house with his own mother. The traitorous woman wanted Hermione to go spend her time in Bulgaria with that ruddy caveman!

"He is a nice boy. I talked to him the day of the third task. And he's quite taken with Hermione," she said casually as another of his pieces went flying. "I might be taken with him myself if I were a young witch again. He's very handsome and the prospect of a rich and famous older man is a big appeal to a girl."

Ron had had quite enough. "I don't care how rich and handsome he is! He's a smarmy bastard and Hermione –"

"Checkmate."

He cut off mid-sentence at her cheerfully-made announcement. Indeed, his king was being rapped over the head repeatedly by his mum's queen. Suddenly a thought struck him and he gaped at his grinning mother.

"You cheated!"

"Hmm?" she said innocently, leaning down to kiss his cheek. "Will you be a dear and set the table for dinner? I've really got to get started before your father arrives."

Ron watched her retreating back in disbelief. His sneaky, conniving, manipulative mother had just cheated! She riled him up on purpose to distract him so she could win the game! He was highly indignant and slightly dumbfounded that she had the gall to do such a thing.

Contrary to what his mother had always claimed, the twins did not inherit their mischievous streak from Uncle Bilius!

* * *

Five days later Ron stood in front of the tall fireplace with his parents and sister, ready to pick Hermione up from her house, which had been temporarily linked to the Floo Network. He watched his dad and then Ginny step into the fire and say, "Granger Residence" before spiraling off. Ron threw in his handful of Floo Powder and was about to follow when his mum grabbed his arm. 

"Ron, dear, I know that you're still upset about that chess game."

"You tricked me!" he exclaimed.

"But I wasn't only doing that to earn a truly satisfying win." She paused a minute to pat his cheek and smile victoriously. "I meant what I said, except for the part about the scarlet woman and Viktor Krum. That was just to make you irately jealous."

Ron scowled savagely down at his mum. "That was below the belt!"

"Well maybe it will give you some incentive to get your act together and tell her how you feel."

Before he could get another word in, he was pushed into the glowing green fire. As he declared his destination and spun away, he caught sight of his mum winking at him, her smile now proud and encouraging.

When he landed in the Grangers' living room, he surprised everyone, including himself, by graciously returning Hermione's hug for once.

The End

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please take the time to leave a review.


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